


Sex on the Beach

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heterosexual Sex, Post-War, Public Sex, Romance, The Quidditch Pitch: Erotic Couplings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-26
Updated: 2009-02-26
Packaged: 2018-10-26 10:11:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10784736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: When two Ron/Hermione fans decide to collaborate





	Sex on the Beach

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

  
Author's notes:

Thanks to beautiful and brilliant missgranger2 for the plot bunny and writing assistance. This story would have never made it to the site (or had smut) without her! Love you, dear!

And thanks to AccioHBP for the opportunity to work with her! You're brilliant dearest! Love you right back! *smak* 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Hermione!” Ron called, walking into the kitchen where his wife was cooking dinner. “I just got an owl from Bill.”

 

“Oh, really? What does it say?” Hermione answered as she cut up an onion and dropped it into the pot. 

 

Ron pulled up a chair at the kitchen table. “His family’s going to Egypt for a week. They are going to visit his old job site.”

 

“Oh, well that sounds nice,” she licked a bit of stew of her finger. “When do they leave?” 

 

“This Monday for a week. Hey, what’s your holiday time like?”

 

“I have a few days available.  Why? Have something in mind?”

 

“Well with Shell Cottage being empty for a week, I thought it’d be nice to take a long weekend.” Ron stood and came up behind Hermione. He wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck. “Imagine all the fun we could get up to with no one within screaming distance.”  He punctured the word “screaming” with a slight thrust of his hips into her backside.

               

               She melted into his arms and tilted her head to give him full access to her neck. “I don’t know, Ron. I just started this new case and I promised Ginny we’d get tea next weekend…” 

 

               “C’mon, Hermione! It’s been so long since you’ve taken a day off! Plus, this way we wouldn’t have to worry about getting a room at a hotel or bed and breakfast. I’m sure Bill and Fleur wouldn’t mind. What do you say?” Without playing fair, he laid an open mouth kiss to her weak spot- the juncture between her neck and shoulder.  

 

               “Fine!” She sighed. “I’ll tell Mr. Jenkins in the morning that I have to take next Friday off.”

 

               “Yes!” Ron jumped and punched the air. Hermione giggled and starting stirring her stew. “I’m just going to write Bill now.” He placed another quick kiss to her cheek, and rushed from the room.

 

               “Lord, what have I gotten myself into?” Hermione chuckled to herself.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

               Ron shuffled through the back door at Shell Cottage, a duffle bag weighing down each shoulder. Hermione followed behind with two bags filled with groceries. They had brought enough food to last the next three days. This way, they hoped to stay in their own little cocoon for the whole weekend.

 

               Hermione started to unpack the food, while Ron carried their bags up the small staircase.

 

               “Why did we even bring clothes?” He called down the stairs. “I plan on us spending most of this weekend in our birthday suits.”

 

               “Well, it’s a good four months after your birthday, Ron, and two before mine,” she teased. “Besides, there might be _some_ people down at the beach!” 

 

               “Who?” He answered on his way back down the steps. “There isn’t another house for another two kilometers!” 

 

               “I’m not walking out that door without clothes, Ronald. Or even around this house for that matter! I play dolls with my nieces in that sitting room, and it would just feel so _wrong._ ”

 

               “Sure, sure!” He spun her away from the pantry and into his arms. “So,” using his long arms to pull her right up against him, “What first? A romp here in the kitchen? Or better yet, on Bill & Fleur’s bed!” 

 

               “Actually,” she ran her hands up his chest and around his neck “I was thinking that a walk along the beach would be perfect. We could work up an appetite before dinner.” 

 

               Ron made a disgusted face. “A walk?! We have this whole house to ourselves and you want to go for a _walk?_ I could think of some better ways to work up an appetite.” His hands ran down the length of her back until he cupped her arse.

               

               She ran a series of quick kisses from his chin across his jaw to the soft spot behind his ear. “Yes, I think a walk is just what we need, dear. We have the whole weekend to shag all over this place. I think you can wait just a bit longer.”

 

               Ron groaned loudly but backed them toward the door. “Alright, but let’s make this quick.”

 

               “Funny- I was going to say the same thing to you later.”

 

               “Oh ha ha!” He said sarcastically, but couldn’t help the small smile that curled his lips as he gripped her hand and led them out the back door.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

               If Ron didn’t know any better, he would think Hermione did not even _want_ to have sex with him. Their walk had been going on for over an hour now, and just a minute ago, she had plopped down in a rare rock-free area of beach. She had pulled on his hand, indicating for him to sit next to her, but instead Ron situated himself behind her, his long legs on either side of her body. Her unruly hair was being tossed around by the wind, and while the curly strands tickled his face and neck, the smell of her had him completely intoxicated.

 

               Ron’s hand futilely shifted Hermione’s hair to the one side so his lips could seek purchase on your neck. As he placed warm, wet kisses to any area of her within kissing distance, Hermione leaned her weight back into him. She stroked her hands slowly up and down his legs, relishing the feel of him surrounding her. 

 

               Her small hands rubbing his thighs made him feel like he was going to bust right out of the front of his jeans. He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her tight against him. The pressure of her backside provided some relief to his increasing hard-on, but still he craved more. 

 

               His hand played along her stomach, winding its way slowly toward her chest. Hermione must have temporarily forgotten they were outside on a beach, because she was silently cheering his hand on. She sucked in a breath of anticipation as his hand grazed the underside of her breast. To both her excitement and frustration, Ron just toyed with the edge of her bra. He distracted her with his feather light caresses so without any warning, he caught her by surprise when his hand squeezed her roughly through her shirt.  At the very same time, he used his other hand to turn her head and pull her into a passionate kiss. 

 

Hermione was lost in the sensations he was creating.  She found herself completely driven to distraction by the press of his lips and sweep of his tongue. So lost in his kiss, she did not even notice that she had turned completely around in his arms, her bum in his lap and her hands woven into his red, silken strands. It wasn’t until she felt his erection press wonderfully against her knickers that she realized their new, entirely compromising position. She was just about to crawl off his lap, pull down her skirt, and reprimand him for seducing her in broad daylight, but he chose that moment to pull out his signature move. Normally suckling her neck wasn’t _this_ effective, but combined with his wandering hands, she found herself powerless to his pull. 

 

 

 Hermione positioned her legs so that she was straddling his lap.  Ron smiled seductively at her as he crushed his lips to hers, making Hermione moan.  He placed his hands on the calves of her legs and slowly slid them upward, enjoying the silky feel of her skin.  Ron broke apart from their kiss and he moved his lips achingly slow across her cheek and down her jaw.  

 

 Hermione turned her head slightly as his lips moved downward to feast on her neck.  One of his hands caressed her hip as the other traveled to her knickers.   He began to run his fingers back and forth across the lacy waistband.  When she gasped, he moved his hand inside her knickers and began to explore her folds.  He zeroed in on her most sensitive spot, rubbing it with his fingers in slow, torturous circles.  Hermione grabbed his shoulders and began to move her body back and forth. 

 

               Ron smiled against her neck, knowing she was close.  He increased the pressure and moved his fingers faster upon her.  Hermione’s moans were growing louder and Ron was sure somebody would hear her when she came.  It both excited and worried him at the same time.  She was panting now.  When he felt her body starting to seize up, he quickly closed his mouth over hers as Hermione began to yell out his name.  She wasn’t kissing him back and instead mumbled incoherently into his mouth. Ron stilled his hand and then removed it from between her legs.     

 

                He could feel her body become limp and removed his mouth from hers.  Hermione nuzzled his neck and sighed.  “Feel better, love?”  

 

                “Hmm.”  She snaked her hands around his neck and began to toy with his hair, making Ron shudder slightly.  Hermione pulled her head up and looked at him.  “Do I need to make you feel better?” 

 

               Ron swallowed hard.   He wanted her to do something-anything-to make the growing ache in his groin to go away.  _But would she really do something like that in public?_ Ron’s voice came out sounding sounded hoarse and high pitched, “What did you have in mind?”

 

               Hermione shrugged and bit her lip.  She placed a few feather light kisses upon his neck and Ron moved his head to the side to give her better access.  “What do you want me to do, Ron?” 

 

                 _I don’t believe this is actually happening!_ Her kisses were driving him insane, making him become completely lucid.  “I need… oh Merlin… I need to be inside of you right now, Hermione!  Please!”  He placed his hands on either side of her head and crushed his lips to hers.  As their tongues danced, Ron flipped them over so that Hermione was lying underneath him.  He moved his hands under her skirt to her knickers.  Hermione lifted up slightly as he broke their kiss and pulled them down her legs, throwing them aside. 

 

                He came up on his knees.  With jerky movements he quickly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled his zipper down.  He pushed them down until they were bunched up around his knees.  Hermione had spread her legs upon the sand, making room for Ron between her legs.  Completely turned on, he pushed her skirt up around her thighs before lying down on top of her.  Placing his mouth over hers, he hurriedly entered her, making them both gasp.  

 

                Ron slammed in and out of her at a rapid pace.  He could feel Hermione’s fingernails digging into his back through his shirt and groaned in spite of himself.  Like a man possessed, he reached his hand down behind her lower back and tilted her up slightly, going deeper.  Hermione wrenched her mouth from his and started making the most delicious sounds.  Ron watched her face intently. 

               

When she closed her eyes and bit her lip, he could hold on no further.  He groaned from the sheer intensity of his orgasm, spilling into her.  Sweaty and shaky, Ron lay down on top of her, his head resting on her chest.           

              

               

 

               They lay wound together, panting and trying to bring themselves back under control. It wasn’t until they heard the sound of a dog barking off in the distance that they both snapped into action. Ron hastily started pulling his trousers up from around his knees, while Hermione reached around in a desperate search for her knickers. Ron let out a laugh when he spotted them dangling on one of the many rocks scattered near their small patch of sand. He lifted them off the rock, and Hermione scowled as he held them out to her with a large smirk on his face. She snatched them from his hand and slipped them on as quickly as she could. Ron was now standing and dusting the sand of his trousers. He reached his hand out to her and lifted her to her feet and into his arms. 

 

               “Well that was fun!” Ron said gleefully. Meanwhile, Hermione was not so amused.

 

               “Imagine if we got caught, Ronald! That dog didn’t sound so far away.” 

 

               “Oh come now, Hermione!” He giggled madly, “I’m sure the dog wouldn’t mind us having a romp in the sand.” 

 

She quickly swatted him across the head. “It’s not the dog I’m worried about, Ron!”

 

“Don’t sound so scandalized! It’s not as if you weren’t enjoying it just moments ago.” 

 

               “Right, well, it still wasn’t very smart of us,” she said haughtily. “Come on. We should head back before it gets too dark.” 

 

               “You were right about this walk, love.” He wrapped his arm around her side and steered them back toward Shell Cottage. “I really did work up quite the appetite.”

 

               She looked up just in time to see him waggle his eyebrows. She let out a huff of frustration and vowed right then to never engage in public sex with her husband again. He was far too infuriating. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

               Hermione glared across the small sitting room at Ron. She was sitting delicately on the edge of the couch and vigorously scratching the back of her left arm. She let out a moan of pain and, with her right hand still scratching away, her left hand disappeared behind her to start rubbing her arse. 

 

               Ron actually bit the inside of his cheek until he could taste blood. He would _not_ dare laugh at her right now lest his bits be hexed clean off. He leaned back into the armchair and took some deep, calming breaths.

 

               They had made their way back to the cottage and prepared a quick dinner. Afterwards, they snuggled together on the couch, and a bit of snogging had ensued. That is until Hermione started complaining of a burning, itchy sensation. Little crimson spots began to appear on her arms and legs.  Even more alarming, they seem to multiply every time she scratched at them.         

 

Hermione had then spent the better part of the evening using her eyes to shoot daggers at Ron and practically scratching the skin off her arms, legs, and backside. They had tried all the anti-itch and soothing spells they could think of, but nothing seemed to ease the irritation from the sand fleas. 

 

When Hermione resorted to using both hands to scratch her bum, Ron could hold his laugh in no longer. A strangled guffaw escaped his lips before he could stop it, and Hermione’s eyes became impossibly narrower. 

 

“I am never having sex with you again.”

 

“Never, Hermione?” Ron said half skeptically, half pleadingly. “How about ‘I’ll never have sex with you on a beach again, but maybe when my arse is feeling better, we can shag on the kitchen table.’ Doesn’t that sound more realistic?”

 

Hermione scoffed loudly. “You just love pushing your luck, don’t you? You just can’t help taking those chances.”

 

“I am not the best chess player around for nothing,” He responded with a sly smile and quick wink.

 

“Well, I think you should consider yourself very lucky if you get any love from me in the next decade. Now get over here and start shooting those anti-itch spells at me again.” She spread out across the couch on her stomach. Ron sighed, feeling resigned to his fate. He stood, picked up his wand, and made his way to his disgruntled wife.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_Six Weeks Later_

 

               “No. No, no, no!” Hermione shook her head, a stricken look on her face.

               

               “Yes!” Ron answered with a joyful shout.

 

               “This can’t be! Ron, tell me I did not conceive our first child on that beach!”

 

               “Oh, but we did! The spell doesn’t lie, love. We’re having a baby!”

 

               “It could have been another time,” Hermione tried to reason. “She could be the result of some beautiful lovemaking…”

 

               “What beautiful lovemaking?” Ron laughed. “The whole reason we took that long weekend was because we were so busy and tired from work, we hadn’t even shagged in weeks. And don’t act as if you haven’t had a ban on sex since the flea incident. No, he was definitely created right on that beach.” 

 

               “Oh God!” Hermione groaned and put her head in her hands. “What will we tell this child when she asks how she was conceived?”

 

               “Trust me, Hermione. There is _no way_ our child will _ever_ ask or even think about us having sex. It can be our little secret.”

 

Hermione shrugged.  “Well, it looks like something good came from all my suffering, after all.”

 

Ron smiled.  “It was worth it, huh?” 

 

She sighed, "I guess."

 

"So," His arms wrapped around her waist as his nose nuzzled her neck. "Ready to lift the sex ban?"

 

"What sex ban?" She smiled mischievously.

 

"Hermione?"

 

"Hmm?" She started undoing his shirt.

 

"This may just be the best day of my life."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
